I remember back in High School (and later), when I first had an interest in astrology, turning straight to the appropriate section in Dolly/ Cleo/ Cosmo to find out whether my latest crush was compatible with my Pisces self. If only it were that easy! Back in those days I didn’t know that there was more to me than just being a Pisces. But then again, that is the case with most of us.
Sun Sign Compatibility
Sure there is some pretty obvious sun sign compatibility—I know so many Scorpio-Pisces matches, for example (I believe that Pisces is possibly the only sign that can lighten the Scorpio load and Scorpio is the only sign that can truly understand the emotional currents of the fish). But that isn’t to say that many other not so obvious matches won’t be successful.
We bring our Sun signs to every relationship we are in, but there is so much more to compatibility than that. We also bring our emotional needs (Moon), relating patterns (Venus), the way we think and communicate (Mercury), and our sex drives (Mars). Saturn helps us with commitment and responsibility whilst Jupiter can show our risk adversity.
On Paper” Matches Versus Real-Life Examples
As an example, my parents are an Aquarius-Scorpio marriage that has (so far) lasted 47 years, but on paper should have lasted 47 minutes—Aquarius being the most emotionally detached of the signs and Scorpio requiring complete emotional merging at a soul level. Yet it has worked for them.
Two of our closest friends are a Cancer-Sagittarius match—a match that, on paper, shouldn’t work. But it has worked … for 25 years. And not in a “we’ll stay together forever for the kids’ sake” way, but in a “we really belong together” way!
Relationship Astrology
We bring our charts to each relationship. None of these elements is more important than the other, but they all work together to form who we are and what we need from a relationship—whether it be with a significant other, a friend, a business colleague or … whatever.
In relationship astrology we look at:
What each individual needs from the relationship
What each individual can bring to the relationship
How the charts interact with each other
Some couples need full compatibility, some couples need some tension or discordant connections, some couples need the full-on difference thing. Some couples are together for the kids, for the security, for the companionship or for the sex … and will last as long as each of these motivators stay on the table. And there is nothing wrong with that.
I don’t want to get into the debate around the relevance of marriage or whether there is any such thing as a soul-mate or one person who is right for you or past life connections or love at first sight. Love is what it is.
Where to Look in Your Charts and What to Look For
Each astrologer has their own method of looking at relationships. This is mine.
Check out the basic Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars compatibility on an elemental basis.
Look at each persons’ chart to see what they need in a relationship:
Check out the 7th house, the 7th house ruler and any planets in the 7th
Look at Venus—the sign, the house, the aspects
Look at Mars—the sign, the house, the aspects
Check out the aspects person A’s chart makes to person B’s
Personal planets A to personal planets B and vice versa
Personal planets A to Jupiter and Saturn B and vice versa
Personal planets A to Outer Planets B and vice versa
Where personal planets are: the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars and the outer planets, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto
Look at where the planets fall in each chart, e.g. what house does B’s Sun fall into in A’s chart?
To take it a couple of steps further you can also look at the Composite Chart for the relationship: What do the charts look like when combined?
Love is complicated: we all know that! Synastry is a guide that can help you to make sense of your relationships. Use this tool to identify the people who are right for you, assess your current relationships, and uncover clues to help you to make your relationships work.
by Jo Tracey
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